Cultivating Spirit Filled Friendships

Since it’s inception we have been talking about the importance of inviting people to Connecting Groups as a way to help build the ministry and help deepen people’s walk with Christ.  Telling people about CG’s or asking people to join you is an awesome way to invite.  It’s quick, it’s convenient.  But does this method work for everyone?  Does everyone you ask respond with an eager yes?  Of course there are some who will agree to check out a group after the first invite.  But for most it takes a bit more work than that.  It’s easy to tell yourself, “I asked, I tried, my work is done here.”  We are called to do more than that.  We are called to be fishers of men. 

Do fishermen catch a fish on their first try?  Not usually.  They need to study the lake for the best fishing holes, try different bait and lures, understand the weather to know the best conditions in which to fish.  Most importantly they spend time with the sport and that time requires patience.  They intimately learn the techniques to be successful at getting a catch. 

What then is our bait for catching fish for building God’s Kingdom and Connecting Groups?  Spirit filled friendships. A spirit filled friendship is a relationship that is built around being a Christ-like friend to someone.  The other person may not know that it’s a Christ-centered friendship. Spirit filled friendships are about conversation and relationships. It’s about influence, and companionship.  Brian McLaren, author of More Ready Than You Realize says, “In order to be someone’s spiritual friend you need to like, approach and serve them.” 

Building this type of relationship as a method to invitation works because for many reasons.  Perhaps, if we ask them to come check out a group they will more likely say yes because they trust our invitations and intentions.  Maybe our friend has gotten to know us, sees we have this light about us, and wants to learn more about our faith.  Or maybe this new friend may want to know where they can learn about God in a close knit setting.  All in all though when we ask a friend to try out a Connecting Group, s/he has greater investment in us and are more willing to say yes than a stranger would.  One thing to note however, unlike a fisherman who lures a fish out of water, we should not become a spirited friend with someone to lure them to Connecting Group.  We should form spirit filled friendships as a way to build God’s kingdom first and if our friend joins our group, count that as an extra blessing.  If our friend turns us down, still be friends with this person and let God do His work. 

Who then should we seek for spirit filled friends?  Take a look around you!  Your neighbors, co-workers, an in-law, your child’s friend’s parent.  It should be someone you see on a regular basis.  If no one comes to mind pray about it and ask God to place a person in your life.  When you think of a person assess the relationship you currently have with them.  Ask yourself:

• Do I know this person?
• Do I pray for them?
• Do I engage in activities with them?
• Do I have heartfelt discussions with them?
• Do I care and serve them?
• Do I share the Good News of Christ with them?
• Do I encourage them on their walk of faith?

 

If you find gaps to your answers to these questions, use this as your starting point for building a relationship.  For example if you know the person but don’t engage in activities with them, start with inviting them over to dinner, a walk, or coffee.  If you do things with the person but don’t serve them, start with finding opportunities to serve.  Work on one thing at a time but through it all pray for this person.

Like a fisherman works hard to catch fish and build up the food supply we are called to work hard and build relationships to build up the Kingdom of God.  We plant the bait, but remember God will work His will for our friends.  Spirit-filled friendships and Connecting Groups may just be the tool God uses to bring a rejuvenated faith or a brand new faith to someone.  Cultivating spiritual friendships is our challenge, our opportunity; it is something we are called to do.

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